Wedding Night Jitters
by NCCullenLover0613
Summary: Edward and Bella make love for the first time on their wedding night.  A little angst   lemony goodness.  Post-Eclipse, not a part of Breaking Dawn.  Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
1. Chapter 1

The wedding had been perfect. I'll never forget how I felt that day…seeing myself in the white dress, Charlie holding my arm as I walked down the aisle, locking eyes with Edward, the swell of emotion I felt when he said "I do", waltzing in the moonlight. It was all still so surreal to me. I mentally kicked myself for being so ridiculous about his marriage request. I had always wanted him. Of course I would marry him. I would take back all of my protesting, and all the pain I had caused him in doing so, if it were possible. I can't even describe how I felt when he recited his vows to me. The intensity of the love I felt at that moment was overwhelming. But in his…in _our_ bathroom on our wedding night, that love had been replaced with overwhelming anxiety.

The Cullens had all left after the reception, leaving Edward and me alone for the night. We would leave the next day for our honeymoon, but tonight we would stay in Forks. Edward wanted to take me to some fancy hotel, but I insisted that I'd rather stay at his house. I didn't want the events of our wedding night to take place in some strange place, in some strange bed. He carried me bridal style up to our room and I excused myself for a human moment. So there I sat on the bathroom floor in my wedding dress, knees pulled up to my chest, completely freaking out. The longer I sat there, the worse I felt. I had no idea how girls did this without even thinking twice about it. Edward was the love of my life, my _husband_ and I was finding it maddeningly difficult. I didn't understand! This was my one demand, the one human experience that I wanted. I was nauseated. I was hyperventilating. I knew Edward could hear me and that made it worse. I had expected him to have knocked on the door already, but he hadn't. Maybe he needed the time alone, too. I knew that, if I could have just brought myself to leave that bathroom, being near him would have settled my fears. I tried to give myself a pep talk. _Bella, Edward loves you. He is your husband. You will not be doing this alone. _But I was interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

"Bella…love…are you ok?" he asked. I didn't know how to answer. I felt silly, embarrassed, and still nauseated all at the same time.

"I'm fine," I lied, knowing he would see through it.

"You're not fine…I'm starting to worry about you. May I…may I come in?"

"No, please…I'm fine. Just…give me a moment."

"Bella…I love you. Please? Please let me in?" I could hear the strain in his voice and I knew I couldn't resist him.

"Ok," I said, burying my head against my knees and covering my face with my arm. I heard the door creak open and I felt him beside me, his arm across my back. He pulled me close to him and I allowed my head to rest on his chest.

"Bella, it's ok sweetheart. Breathe…slowly." I tried to do as instructed. A few moments passed. "Are you alright?"

"Isn't this what you wanted? For me to be afraid of this?" _Where did that even come from? Now he will never allow it!_

"I wanted you to consider the situation, the risks, the dangers. I wanted you to make an informed decision. I didn't want you to…be in distress." I could hear the pain in his voice that I'm sure he was trying to conceal. _Now he thinks you don't want him. Nice, Bella_. I already felt a little better with him so close to me. I looked up at him and smiled. He was still partially dressed in his tuxedo. His shirt was partially untucked and unbuttoned at the top, his tie hung loosely from his neck, and his jacket had been removed. I couldn't recall ever seeing him so disheveled. I found it very attractive.

"Oh God, Edward! I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me! I can't believe I'm acting like this. Is it possible to die from embarrassment?"

"Fortunately, no. Otherwise, we would all be deceased," he said, chuckling quietly. I smiled at him and he continued. "Bella, we don't have to do this," he said with genuine concern, his hand rubbing my back.

"No, it's not that…I want to. I'm just so very nervous, and the longer I sit here, the more reasons I think of to be nervous."

"I know. Believe me, I know. So am I. But…it's just us, sweetheart. We'll take this slow. If it doesn't happen tonight, that's fine. But I will not have you spending our wedding night hyperventilating in the bathroom." He stood and grabbed my hands, pulling me up with him. His room was lit by candlelight and soft music played in the background. Pulling me close to him, he whispered, "Dance with me, Isabella Cullen" and my heart skipped a beat.

"I will never tire of that," I whispered.

"Good. Because I will repeat it for eternity. You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear your name and mine together." This moment was perfect. We swayed in the candlelight, alone, new husband and wife. He twirled me out and pulled me close again, pressing his forehead to mine. "You are an exquisite creature," he said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ears. Then he took my face in his hands, brushed my cheeks lightly with his thumbs, and kissed me so passionately that I forgot why I'd been so nervous.


	2. Chapter 2

I pulled him near again, kissing him longingly. There was a warm pull deep in my stomach and I recognized it from the other times we had spent alone…only this time, I allowed myself to feel it more intensely. This time, with any luck, he would not be pulling away. I wove my hands in his hair and pulled him impossibly closer, my lips meeting his. Feeling courageous, I allowed my tongue to trail along his bottom lip. For this first time since our relationship began, he didn't stop me. He surprised me, instead, by returning the action. I opened my mouth to allow him access. The feeling of our tongues touching for the first time was inexplicable. It was as if we had never kissed before. The pull in me became stronger and I knew there would be no turning back tonight. Not for me, anyway. I needed more.

When he pulled away, allowing me to breathe, I kissed his jawline down to his neck and ran my hands urgently up and down his back. Suddenly, my back was against the wall, forcefully but not painfully. He was kissing me desperately. I had never seen him let go like that before. I smiled, knowing that it was I that caused this reaction. I reached out and tried to unbutton the remaining buttons of this shirt, but my hands were trembling absurdly. He allowed me to struggle with two of the buttons before he reached down and tugged the shirt open, buttons scattering to the floor, and shrugged out of it. I giggled quietly. I placed the palm of my hand on his cold, hard chest and locked eyes with him. Desire was coursing through my veins and my heart was pounding in my chest.

"God, Bella, are you ok? I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"I'm fine…no, I'm great! No need to be sorry."

"Perhaps we shouldn't have suppressed this for so long." He chuckled a bit. Using the tie still around his neck, I pulled him closer to me and I kissed along his neck before returning my lips to his. "You are too desirable for your own good, Mrs. Cullen." He was kissing me gently again. Tender, loving kisses. He moved one of the straps of my dress off of my shoulder and kissed my collarbone, up to my neck. Placing his hand on my back, he found the zipper of my dress. "Bella…may I?" he asked. I nodded my head and took a deep breath. He unzipped my dress slowly, dragging his icy fingers along my spine as he did so. Goosebumps arose on the flesh of my arms. Whether from his icy touch or the desire I had for him, I wasn't sure. He moved his hands to my shoulders gently pushing the straps down my arms. The dress fell to the floor and he offered his hand to me as I stepped out of it. He put his hands around my waist and kissed me again, sucking on my bottom lip ever so lightly. He kissed up my neck and stopped just below my ear. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Edward."

"Are you positive you want to…do this?"

"Yes. I've never been more positive of anything." He pulled my hand up to his mouth and gently kissed the crescent-shaped scar on my wrist – the one part of me that was the most like him. I didn't know if it was a sign of his longing for me to be like him, or a silent apology for the events that led to it. At vampire speed, he lifted me and carried me to the bed.

"You're overdressed," I frowned, reaching for his belt. He grabbed my wrists in one hand and I was afraid I'd upset him. He quickly let go and apologized. "I'm…sorry, Bella. It's just…I'm a bit…this is my first time too, you know. I'm a bit…uncomfortable. Please forgive me." I was shocked at his stumbling on his words. That never happened. For the first time I realized, though he may be scared of losing control and hurting me, he was also scared of something new – of his first love – just as I was.

"It's alright. I know it's intense. We are learning together," I said, trying to comfort him. It was almost silly, trying to ease his mind when, just a short time earlier, mine was the one out of control. I guessed this wasn't as easy as either of us thought. In movies it looks so instinctual. In actuality, it was downright tense.

Edward hesitated for a moment, but then removed his pants and the tie he still wore and sat beside me on the bed. He cupped the side of my face and touched his lips to mine. He gently traced his hand his from the side of my face, down my neck, across my chest and down my torso.

"I promised we would try. And I want this, Bella. More than I have allowed myself to tell you. But if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

"I will. But Edward…some pain is to be expected."

"I know, and I hate that. I am so nervous about that part." He closed his eyes briefly, taking a slow breath.

"Don't be. It will be fine," I said, looking into his eyes.

"Still, if the pain is unbearable, please tell me. Promise me."

"I promise."

He lay back on the bed and pulled me on top of him. Straddling his hips, I felt his arousal on my thigh and I was suddenly aware of how little fabric separated us. The back of his hand traced from the side of my face, down my neck, along my collarbone, and in the valley between my breasts. His finger traced the swell of my breast that peeked above the lace of my bra. The warm pull in my stomach was burning then, and a soft gasp fell from my lips. I placed my hand on his inner thigh and moved it down to his knee and back up again. He was still tracing up and down my torso, across my stomach. I knew what I wanted him to do, but I wasn't sure how to ask him. Cautiously, I placed my hand over his and moved it to cover my breast. I felt the heat rise to my face and knew I was blushing profusely. With my breast in his hand, he began to massage and my head fell back, my eyes closed. I tried to keep my breathing even as he explored my body with, seemingly, a little less reluctance.

He swallowed hard and reaching behind my back, found the clasp to my bra. He paused there and I opened my eyes to find that he was awaiting my consent. I nodded, answering his unspoken question. He breathed audibly and slowly unfastened the clasp, allowing the bra to fall to the bed. The familiar blush rose to my face and I resisted the urge to cover myself as I bared a part of me that no man had seen before. _It's just Edward. Relax, Bella._ Edward locked eyes with me and smiled planting feather-like kisses on my mouth. It wasn't until the blush began to die down that he allowed his eyes to wander.

"Wow…" he said softly. "You…are so beautiful." I looked away from him and closed my eyes thinking there is no way he actually believed that, but he touched his hand under my chin and said "Bella, look at me". When I found his eyes again, he dazzled me just as he had so many times before. "I said you are beautiful. How you don't realize this by now, I will never know."

"Thank you," I said. He returned his hand to my breast, no fabric to inhibit the feeling this time. It was truly exquisite and I sighed under his caresses. Quickly, he flipped us over, his arms holding his weight above me. He stroked my thigh, so close to where I needed him. When I thought I couldn't take anymore, I hitched my leg around his waist, pulling myself into him, seeking the friction I so desperately needed. "Edward, I love you. I want you. Right now!" He chuckled at the memory of him saying these exact words to me just two months earlier. He gently removed my leg from around his waist and took a deep breath.

"Bella…slowly, _please_," he hissed. "You have to understand how badly I want this as well, but I can't risk losing control with you. Just lie back and enjoy first, okay?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," I said and I lay back trying to relax. I closed my eyes and felt his hands on my thigh again. They traced from my knee up to the crease where my legs met my torso, across my stomach just above the waistline of my panties, and down the other side. He repeated the pattern again and again and I couldn't resist the squirming or the whimper that fell from my lips. When he finally touched the place between my legs, I couldn't help but jump. He pulled away instantly. "No," I begged, "please. Don't stop. It didn't hurt. I was just surprised." Again, he was massaging me through the fabric of my panties. His caresses both soothed the burning in my stomach, and made it tug at me harder. I had never dreamed of such a sensation. Then suddenly, he stopped. I opened my eyes and searched his. He placed a finger inside the top of my panties and my body quivered with anticipation.

"Bella, I want to touch you. Is that okay?" he asked.

"Dear God, yes!" I answered, slightly embarrassed by my outburst. He swiftly pulled my panties down my legs and tossed them to the floor. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious, exposed. I crossed my legs and tried to breathe steadily.

"Bella, would you like me to stop?"

"No, no, it's just…"

"Shh, shh…it's ok. There's no reason to be nervous, love." He kissed me gently on the lips and I uncrossed my legs as I began to relax. He kissed my neck a few moments before returning to his previous task. Gently, he pushed my thighs apart slightly and ran his fingers between them. Finally, he found the spot where I needed him most. I laced my fingers in his hair. He caressed, he massaged, he flicked, and he pinched until my heart was pounding out of my chest and my breathing was heavy. Something was building inside me, dragging me to a place I didn't know existed. I pulled my fingers from his hair and twisted them into the sheets beside me. I squeezed my eyes shut even more tightly and my hips bucked wildly as Edward took me there.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, Edward," I sighed as the residual tremors slowly subsided. I opened my eyes and found him grinning huge. He had just given me the best pleasure I had ever known and I wanted to reciprocate. I sat up and put my hand behind his neck. I kissed him deeply, then moved my lips to his neck. I kissed up to his ear and whispered, "your turn."

"I don't know if I can…"

"What? Why not?" I said, disappointment apparent in my voice.

"Well," he began. He bit his bottom lip, something I had never seen him do. "I'm a little embarrassed to talk about this, but…I don't know what _that_ is like. I don't know how I will react to it." I looked at him in disbelief.

"You mean you've never…?" It's not that I had, I just figured, being on the earth for over a century, that _he_ had.

"No, Bella. Well, maybe as a human, I can't remember. But, I never had the desire to before you, then it didn't seem right without you. Carlisle advised that I experience that feeling alone before I tried to be intimate with you, so I _tried_ to last week but it felt so wrong, so dirty. I couldn't." His eyes were facing downward and I was certain that if he had blood pumping through his body, he would be a victim of blushing right now.

"Well…um…" I felt so awkward. "Well, isn't that a good reason we should do this first? Before we…have sex?" He looked thoughtful.

"Yes, of course you're right. It's just…well, it's difficult to relinquish the control to you. If it becomes too much, it may be necessary to ask you to stop, or to push you away. Please understand if this happens, it isn't because you're doing something wrong or because I don't like it. I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"Okay, I understand." I thought for a moment. "I have an idea. Hold onto the headboard. If you…destroy it, at least it's replaceable." He took deep breath.

"This just might work, Bella," he said, sounding less anxious than before. He lay back on the bed, his shaking hands, which he probably hoped I wouldn't notice, above him gripping the headboard. I kissed him, nibbling on his bottom lip. I ran my fingers along his thigh, much like he had done to me before I caressed him between the legs. I froze when I heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Edward?" I looked up at him. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was clenching his fists tightly, the headboard already cracked under his grip. His eyes slowly opened and he looked at me lustfully.

"I'm okay. Don't stop," he replied, finally. I slipped a hand under the waistband of his boxers.

"Would this be okay?" I asked shyly.

"Yes, I can handle it." I pulled them off of his hips and down his legs, letting them fall to the floor. A surge of electricity rushed through my body as I saw his manhood for the first time. I didn't have anything to compare it to, but I was surprised anyway. I didn't expect it to be so _erect_ and I didn't know how in the world it would fit inside me. Pushing that thought away, though, I returned to pleasuring Edward. I had only a slight idea what I was doing, but I gripped him in my fist and moved it slowly up and down. Gauging by the way he moved, I must have been doing something right. He groaned softly and his body twitched slightly and I knew he would arrive in the glorious place soon. I continued to caress him until he was panting.

"Bella…Bella, I'm…close….I think."

"I know, sweetheart. Relax. Let go."

Just a few moments later, he convulsed underneath me and a feral growl escaped his lips. My favorite crooked grin appeared on his face and he pulled me down to him instantly, peppering my mouth and neck with kisses.

"I…love…you…Bella," he said between kisses.

"I love you, too, Edward."


	4. Chapter 4

We cuddled together a few moments exchanging chaste kisses. Our legs were tangled together, flesh against flesh. For a while, neither of us said a word. He gently brushed my hair from my face. As sweet as this moment was, I still wanted more of him.

"Edward…?" I broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"Are we going to…? Do you still want to…make love?"

"Very much so. I mean, if you do."

"Then what are you waiting for?" I instantly regretted the tone of my voice. I hoped it didn't sound as harsh as I thought. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I just meant – "

"No, it's ok. Honestly, I don't know. I was waiting on you. I think. I don't have the slightest idea how to proceed without being awkward."

"Edward, just kiss me." And that's all it took. His mouth covered mine and once again, I felt his arousal pressed against my thigh. He hovered above me, holding his weight with his arms. He gently spread my legs and settled between them. Nothing would help me now – not movies, not books, not the stories Jessica had shared with me. Okay, maybe the fact that it was Edward here, maybe that would help.

"I will be as gentle as I can love," he said and I knew it was true.

He pushed into me slowly, inch by inch. My whole body smoldered as I realized that he was really inside me. I had never imagined anything so intimate before. I felt the pressure as my body expanded to accommodate him. It didn't hurt, yet. It was just uncomfortable. He searched my eyes for any sign of regret and then quickly pushed through my innocence. I grimaced and a low cry of pain exited my lips.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered immediately.

"It's okay. I'm okay. Just give me a moment."

After a few moments, my body adjusted and the pain subsided. I moved my hips a little, trying to signal to Edward that I was ready. Soon he began to move with me. Instinct took over from there and we were moving together in rhythm. It was the very best feeling I ever had. I couldn't have dreamed of a connection so intimate. He reached his hand between us and caressed me between the legs again. The familiar fire was building again and I knew it wouldn't be long before the eruption of pleasure returned. The throbbing between my legs increased in intensity with every stroke of his finger and thrust of his hips and I fell over the edge, pulling him with me. We moaned together in ecstasy as our bodies convulsed uncontrollably in erotic pleasure.

Edward collapsed beside me. I rolled over and rested my head on his chest. He put his cool arm around me and stroked my hair. I was completely overwhelmed at the intimacy of what we just shared. A few moments passed in silence and then he…laughed? Not really a response that I thought was appropriate at the time.

"What's funny?" I asked.

"Nothing is _funny_ really. I'm just…overwhelmed. Some people cry, I laugh…apparently."

"So…it was…you…enjoyed it?" I asked, the blush rising to my cheeks.

"What an absurd question! Of course I enjoyed it! Are you okay? I didn't hurt you?"

"No, of course not. I would have told you." I looked around briefly. "Though I can't say the same for your bed," I commented, noting the cracked headboard and the ripped sheets. He laughed.

"Replaceable," he answered.

"Was it…difficult?"

"Not as difficult as I expected. I did have to remain conscious of how I was touching you. And I had to concentrate on where to displace the residual energy. But I think it helped that you…touched me first. I knew what to expect." Feeling completely content, I crawled under the sheets and curled up against him.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered.

"As I love you, Bella. My wife." He smiled my favorite crooked smile and began to hum my lullaby. I knew sleep would take me soon.


End file.
